You know what I did? Lillian: I’m sorry I kicked you out of my wedding. I’m surrounded by savages. He’s my brother, I love him. It’s good luck. Have you ever seen CSI? Helen: And they were working the entire weekend. Officer Nathan Rhodes: Yeah. Cause I do not associate with people that blame the world for their problems. Annie: I’m sorry. Oh, and you know what? So let me just say; Lillian, you’re my best friend. Did you really think that this group of women was going to finish that cookie? If you’re tired, you can totally lay down on my lap, if you want. Four years, tops. Consuming alcohol while operating a vehicle. Annie: But I mean we’re changing from who we are, which we always stay as. We’re on a budget! Megan: No. Don Cholodecki: [to Annie] That looks like you have menstrual cramps. I am very happy for you. Rodney: Oh, come on! Ted: Really? Megan: He cut a hole in his pocket. Brynn: Pathetic! Annie: Are you sure you want it to say ‘forever’? Annie: This is a lucky carrot? Becca: Okay, Annie. I know you’re afraid of flying, but I want to see Chris Angel. I’m not a good flyer. Ted: No. A bride can always count on her bridesmaids to … [they quickly get their stuff] Cause you’re your problem, Annie. [to Annie] Annie: I told you about Paris, Helen! And said; I’m saving you Megan. Lillian: I just took a shit in the middle of the street. [the morning after they’ve slept together] These quotes are perfect to put on a card, or you could even include one when you ask someone to be in your wedding. Megan: Okay. Ted: You know it’s getting really late. No, you can’t. Becca: This is my husband, Kevin. [after Annie enters the kitchen to see Nathan has put out baking items] I’m telling you this is where Brazilians come to eat. [she hears the beep of a call waiting] Just like you say. Officer Nathan Rhodes: You made good cakes. Flight Attendant Steve: Well, that’s not my name. Ted: You know, you look tired. Helen: Oh, thank you, Annie. Annie: No, mom! All right, com on? Annie: Woh! Annie: Names! You got the ugly carrot! Learn about it. I should probably run, my other line is ringing. Annie: You did what? [she ignores him and keep on walking] Annie: It was. Officer Nathan Rhodes: It’ll turn around you know. Lillian: I don’t know! [he touches her arm] [referring to the night she slept with Ted] So, that might have been, I’m just going to kiss you now rather just… Cause they’re living with you, you don’t know who you’re sleeping next to. What woman gives another woman a trip to Paris? Woh! Which wouldn’t be great. Annie: Yeah. Megan: I know you look at me now and think, boy she must have breezed through high school. Ted: Okay. And you would know that if you got your beautiful haired head out of your asshole! Which I sort of love. Gil: At our age! Annie: Lost a lot of money. [Annie doesn’t answer] Lillian: I can’t believe it. Annie: Stick some frozen peas on there. And you’re also your solution. If you want to take this class, you’re going to have to pay for it, like the rest of these bitches! Officer Nathan Rhodes: Twelve hours! Okay, here we go! Air Marshall Jon: Cool. [referring to Annie’s arms by her side] All right. Megan: I’m Megan. Annie: They’ve been married twelve years. You know what I did? Annie: Because I would rather get murdered out here than spend the next half an hour with you! Helen: A bachelorette in a cabin? You were in it. Annie: Cheers! Annie’s Mom: You know, I’m sure she greets him in the evening, beaver first. No! And that’s it for tonight! There’s a warrant out for your arrest. With that couch. Without you. Determined to make things perfect, she gamely leads Lillian and the other bridesmaids down the wild road to the wedding. I studied really hard. Sounds like something is happening. I just know of a guy, that got a lot of undercover work, and all I know was he had tape marks all up and down his cheeks. I can handle it from here on out. Rodney: Dancing in the park! Come on! Annie: Oh. Officer Nathan Rhodes: Oh, I’m on duty!. Don’t eat it! [shouting to Annie as she is destroying the decoration at Lillian’s shower] You should probably go. Remember, it's wise to listen to your bridesmaids. So raise your double 7 and 7. Annie: Okay. Officer Nathan Rhodes: You didn’t let me flex that time. Officer Nathan Rhodes: You didn’t let me flex that time. Air Marshall Jon: I’m not an Air Marshall. Find out what you like. No way in hell! And you know how I know? Opened up the side of his van. Neutral mismatched bridesmaid dress #wedding #weddings #bridesmaids #bridesmaiddress #bridesmaiddresses #fallbridesmaiddress #longbridesmaiddress #chiffonbridesmaiddress. Ted: But I like hanging out with you. I really want you to leave, but I don’t know how to say it without sounding like a dick. You know, that would suck for you. “He remembered the time he had hooked one of a pair of marlin. All my money. Told you! You should have just gone with the cool dress with the pockets. Annie: Thank you. If I drive like this they’re going to think I just stole the car. Megan: I think you’re ready now to hear a little story about a girl named Megan. I just feel like, he’s kind of been distant lately and, I don’t know. Annie: Oh, I’m sure you are… Helen: It is unique. Brynn: Eventually. What’s wrong with me?! You’re, Cake Baby. I mean, look at him? And I need to put my uniform on. Ted: Come on, Annie! Gil: At our age! Rita: I can’t believe you’ve never been with anybody else! They smell! I’m really tough. Annie: Ew! Different guy. Nervous Woman on Plane: I had a dream last night that we went down. Because he’s a terrible liar and he thought he was going to blow it. Ted: Thanks, officer. Annie: Okay! [Ted drives up and stops in front of Annie and Nathan as they’re arguing] Marvin J, whatever! Annie: Mom! Helen just called, she said we can go to Vegas. They’re sticky! Not like anything serious, but just like a fun time, you know? Have fun having a baby at your prom. [she doesn’t answer] It’s wonderful. Come on! You are welcome. Annie: Ha-ha. I know you haven’t done it in a while. Annie: Yeah. [steps outside]. But I mean like, still stay who they are, pretty much. Female Jewelry Store Couple: Yeah. I should probably run, my other line is ringing. It was fun. [drunk on plane, pulls open curtains to coach after getting kicked out of first class] So don’t worry, okay? Annie: Yeah. Megan: I don’t want to infringe on your privacy, man. I’m just wanted to make you feel better. Lillian: Whatever you say, boss. Officer Nathan Rhodes: You can’t. Annie: I’m sorry. Girl in Jewelry Store: You look like an old mop. Why? No! Sorry! You’re a total catch and any guy would be psyched to be your man. Helen: A bachelorette in a cabin? [to Rita as they are both getting more and more drunk] Annie: You guys love each other, huh? Annie’s Mom: Well, he became a gay prostitute and he realized that he had hit his bottom. I’m, and then I pretend I’m tired, but I’m not tired. Shut your filthy fucking mouth! Gil: Eventually. [calls Annie after Annie has sent email about her idea on the bachelorette party] Megan: It was, it was in his back pocket. So naturally I ran out as fast as I could! Brynn: No. Annie: I’m not weird. Megan: I can’t protect you. [whilst taking a dump in the handwash basin in the bridal store toilet] Annie: You know, I was thinking, you should come with me to Lillian’s wedding, maybe? That will go away. Giving your Bridesmaids a bag for your Bridesmaids gift can serve an infinite number of purposes for your wedding party. Can this George Glass do this to you? Annie: You cannot trust anybody. I shit in my shorts. Megan: I’ll take the first watch. [on the phone to Annie] I’m not an Air Marshall. I want to go fast. Good to see ya! Becca: I’m so excited! Officer Nathan Rhodes: You’re okay, you know? Annie: What? Helen: Boy, you really doing it, aren’t ya? [driving Lillian home after the bridesmaids fitting incident with everyone getting sick] Annie: What? [whilst having sex] Annie: I’m getting in the car. Not drunk. I can’t. Something about you that sticks. [leaving a message on Lillian’s cell phone] Lillian: Have you lost your fucking mind?! [then she whispers] Officer Nathan Rhodes: Come on. You want to get back in that rest room and not rest? You smell like pine needles, and have a face like sunshine! Annie: No! Megan: Yeah, I know you do. Annie: Well, you know… Annie: I feel fine. What is offer? [they start walk away] I’ve been thinking about you a little bit. [remembering her bakery] You got some stuff. [he comes forward and kisses her] [calls Annie after Annie has sent email about her idea on the bachelorette party] Flight Attendant Steve: No. Helen: I think if you’re growing, then you’re changing. There we go. Annie: Yeah! We can’t find Lillian. Officer Nathan Rhodes: No. Officer Nathan Rhodes: Just cause you didn’t make any money at it, doesn’t mean that you failed at it. Annie: You know what? Lillian: I’m shocked, still. We used to go there all the time, in the summers and everything. Helen: No. Megan: I will, if you get me scissors, I will cut a hole in my pocket and I, you’ll never find this again until I want you to find it. I kind of do. But he hasn’t kissed me in five years. Officer Nathan Rhodes: How long has she been gone? And there’s a beautiful saying that I learned there. I’m telling you, hitting bottom is a good thing. Air Marshall Jon: I don’t have gun for you to put up my ass to make your point! Lillian: I’m sorry I kicked you out of my wedding. Megan: Okay. Don’t go in my room! Annie: No, mom! I mean that’s, you get that? What are you doing? Flight Attendant Steve: You have three seconds to get back to your seat. Megan: I can put my nano. We’re just like priests. [reading the name on the business card] I pulled myself up. I have the highest possible security clearance. You should probably go. It’s not a missing person until it’s at least twenty four hours. Aahh! Annie: Slow it down. Annie: Come on, forever? I’m not tired! What kind of a name is that? My pits are sweating. [they hug] Annie: It’s a good tub. “My friend got married last month and her dress and the bridesmaids’ dresses HAD POCKETS,” tweeted bridesmaid Nell Goddard, alongside a photo of the bridal party with, you guessed it, their hands comfortably slid in said pockets. Don’t you see how irresponsible this is? [the man turns and walks away] Annie: I’m going to be fine. Becca: Kevin can only have sex in bed, in the dark, under the covers, only after we’ve showered separately! No! You know what I mean? These quotes are perfect to put on a card, or you could even include one when you ask someone to be in your wedding. And take a bath in my bath tub, cause you know how much I love my bath tub. I’m not saying that figuratively. Becca: So you don’t even have sex anymore? Annie: Oh, well. And to have kids. Annie: I’m sorry. Did you let him sleepover in your mouth? Officer Nathan Rhodes: I’m sorry. Annie: What diary? This happened because you didn’t get your tail lights fixed. 1. I’ll fine you. Annie: It was Helen, it was really nice meeting you too. Brynn: Hello, fellas. I will show you. Helen: You don’t look very well, Annie. Our experts have five key tips that will help you choose your bridesmaids and groomsmen—and make sure your wedding party is one for the ages. Even when we were little she didn’t like anything that was too competitive. 1. Brynn: At first I did not know that it was your diary, I thought it was a very sad handwritten book. I’m sorry, inside joke! Bridesmaids has been hailed as a groundbreaking blow for American female cinema. [to a drunk Annie who’s sneaked back onto first class after being kicked out back to coach] Annie: Look at this shower? Ted: I know. I get it. Annie: Oh, yeah. Cause she’s realizing, ‘holy shit! What are you…? And I hope, and I pray that I never have to. Megan: Yeah, you gotta get back on my seat. Can you, can you hold that thought? Becca: Is this your husband? Annie: It’s okay. [the crowd laughs] [she hears the beep of another caller waiting] Gil: So we’re actually going to live together, alone. Annie: Yeah. Lillian: They were good cakes, Annie. Ted: Who? And sometimes, by the time we’re finished cleaning ourselves, he’s too tired. And yes, we did use them for storing snacks, thank you for asking. I just, um, I really appreciate what you do for this country. It’s just I’m anal about that kind of thing. Annie: Are you sure you want it to say ‘forever’? Air Marshall Jon: I don’t have gun for you to put up my ass to make your point! But it’ll be great! Uh, I’d love to talk this out with you when you can. [back on stage again after Helen’s speech, she gives Lillian a long look and then starts singing] Wooh! That was unfair. I studied really hard. Annie: Okay. [turning to Annie] Did you forget to take your Zanax this morning? And this bed. The male fish always let the female fish feed first and the hooked fish, the female, made a wild, panic-stricken, despairing fight that soon exhausted her, and all the time the male had stayed with her, crossing the line and circling with her on … But I’m scared. Annie: Well, I’m just, like the whole gown, the oohh…! Man, you gotta wash your hair! Rita: That’s why every girl needs those slutty college years. It’s super gravely! Gil: Maybe give it a little bit of ice on it. Uh, yes. No offense, but you know? Your message was received. That’s prickly! Annie: All right [she hums a little tune] Gil: You have to leave. Gil: Yeah, can’t hurt. I just miss her I guess. I’m hot. Helen: One last thing. Ted: I thought we had a rule against that? Girl in Jewelry Store: No, you started it! Ted: You slept over. You’re so good at it! [seeing Annie looking sad] [to Rita as they are both getting more and more drunk] Accept we can tell everybody about it afterwards. [she pulls a face] [the couple quickly walk out of the store]. [she watches him as he drinks from his glass of water] Lillian: Annie, what are you doing? All the tiny things you may need at a wedding, that your run-of-the-mill dress just isn’t equipped to carry. Annie: Okay. Officer Nathan Rhodes: Come on. I know it’s a bit crazy, but I popped out and I got a few little baking bits and pieces. Easy peasy, Vegas it is!
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